Because we have conversations like this:
what if folks in my little corner of fandom started writing Twilight fanfic? I can’t decide if I’d rather see daegaer write about the pure [disdain] with which certain telepathic assassins would view Edward, or the epic story charting Edward’s actions throughout certain biblical events. thingswithwings and toft might collaborate on a story in which it is revealed that while vampires don’t have PIV sex before marriage, pegging is a-okay as long as the dildo is sparkly enough. bravecows could write a series of short, perfectly formed Discworld fusions in which Otto despairs of talking sense into either Edward or Bella. raven might be tempted into femgenathoning Bella aboard the Starship Enterprise.
Now I am trying to figure out what I would write for Twilight fanfic. I think it would be Edward/Bella/Jacob OT3, but I cannot for the life of me figure out what the banter would be about. (I mean, there really isn’t any topic of conversation or interest covered in the books other than, you know, vampires and sparkling and Wuthering Heights.) Someone should tell me what they would bicker about. (Nabokov’s calling Jane Austen “gentle Jane”? Gourmet flavors of mountain lion blood? THESE ARE THE THINGS I CARE ABOUT.)
What would you write?
